Tag Archives: self-esteem

Empowering Praise

Have you ever stopped to think about how your childhood affects you?  Childhood is the ground level in this life.  It is our foundation.  We simply cannot say, ‘What happens in childhood stays in childhood,’ because the truth of the matter is, it doesn’t stay anywhere.  Our childhood is our base for this life that we lead, and without a strong foundation, we struggle to navigate the waters of life.  The good news is… it’s never too late to create a strong foundation for your children or yourself!

I am the youngest of four girls and there are 11, 14 and 15 years from me to my big sister’s, so as a child I got a great deal of attention.  I was a dancer, a singer, an artist, and yes, a writer, even at a young age.  I won art contests, had amazing opportunities in dance, was recognized as a soloist at state competitions, and was honored for my writing.  I was usually praised for what I was doing according to what others thought…

“You’re a good artist Vicki,”

“That was a great song,”

“Good job on your dance.”

I worked hard to be the best, but I wasn’t always the best.  When I wasn’t the best, of course I felt less than.

My parents were loving, hard working people, who taught us to be kind, generous, and always help those in need.  They were truly amazing and always tried to do their very best with their children, as we all do in our own way. They never intended to pass on this feeling of unworthiness to me.  They were truly oblivious to this core belief being born within me at a young age.

No-one set out to give me this core belief as a child, yet the message was clear, “Be the best, or it’s just not good enough.”

We don’t even realize what we do to our kids because we are dealing with our own core beliefs as we parent our children.

I’ve worked with children for over 20 years in my life and I have an amazing tool for you today…

When your child tries their hardest, overcomes a fear, tries something new, or even wins an art contest, before you tell them what you think, take the time to ask them what they think.  I often praise my son for doing and being, but I am constantly reminding myself of this lesson and asking him to tell me how he feels so that he will know how amazing he is whether he is 1st, 2nd, 3rd or 5,983rd!

Empowering praise is praise that we give to our children and ourselves, where we take a step back and say, “Wow! You did your personal best, and good for you!” Empowering praise is praise we give to our children and ourselves even when we feel like we’ve failed.  We take a deep breath and say, “That was my best at that time, I will prevail.”

Give your children a gift and give yourself a gift…

See the Light within no matter what the outcome is on your next endeavor!

Lots of Love & tons of Light,

Vicki

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Let Go of the How and Focus on the Why

I was recently asked, “Why do you do what you do?”

First, let me tell you a little about me…

I am an elementary teacher who focuses on building the self esteem of children and therefore touching their hearts, long before I even attempt to teach their minds.  For many years, I have taught holistically and non-conventionally.  I teach in a public school from September to June and then run camps in the summer based on my research and experience to build self esteem in children and help them to speak their truth.

In the past decade, my work has expanded to adults as well.  I conduct workshops for adults, provide coaching services, speak at various events as an inspirational speaker, and of course, blog.  I’ve come to realize that how I’m getting from here to there, doesn’t really matter.  Instead, what matters most, is the why of it all.  My why is answered in the work that I do for children and adults because essentially, it’s all the same.  I educate, enlighten, and empower children and adults to be their absolute best!

I believe that our childhood is our foundation in life and that we can never say, “What happens in childhood stays in childhood.” In truth, what happens in childhood affects who we are to become in this life, whether we choose to believe that or not. Basically, I am building strong foundations for children in their childhood by giving them tools to navigate the waters of life successfully in the years to come.  I also help adults to repair and strengthen their foundations with these very same tools because I believe that it’s never too late to love that child within!

When we are working towards a goal, no matter what that goal may be, we have a tendency to focus on how we are going to attain that goal.  In my experience, when I focus on; how I am going to get that book deal, how I’m going to leave my full-time job to do the work I truly love full-time or how to get from here to there, I become very stuck!  On the flip side, when I focus why I do what I do, everything just comes to me in perfect timing, as it should.

I do what I do, because…

Childhood is simply too precious to ignore.

I do what I do, because…

We all need tools to navigate the waters of life successfully.

I do what I do, because…

                              Everyone deserves the very best in this life!

What’s your why?

Lots of Love & Tons of Light,

Vicki

Don’t Let Anyone Take YOUR Power Away

A few days ago I read a children’s book titled, ‘Fireflies,‘ by Julie Brinkloe, to a group of girls for my GIRLS RULE Camp.  This book is a story of a child who feels the excitement of catching fireflies in mid-summer in a glass jar.  I love this story because when I was little that very event created many happy memories that I cherish, with my dad.

In this story, the child is called to come inside and brings the fireflies in his room, thinking the fireflies would be okay because he poked holes in the top of the jar.  When he first sets the jar down, he admires the bright glowing lights of the fireflies, and he says, “My Fireflies.”  In a few moments, he notices that the light in the jar is getting dimmer and dimmer.  He starts to realize that for the lights to brighten, he must let them go, but he doesn’t want to let go of his fireflies.

When the light gets very dim, with tears rolling down his cheeks, he opens the jar and points the jar toward the window.  He says, “Fly!”  Suddenly, the lights brighten and the fireflies explode out into the summer night air!

I’ve always loved this book because it reminds me of my dad, who is no longer here with me on earth, but last week it took on a new meaning…

Sometimes, we allow other people or situations to dim our light.  We allow ourselves to conform to what others want or what appears to be acceptable in society.  The problem is, we are not being TRUE to ourselves.  We slowly become dimmer and dimmer, and something inside of us dies.  Perhaps it’s passion, imagination, desire, or inspiration.  Nonetheless, it dies.

We can free ourselves by being true to ourselves and honoring our feelings.  Most importantly, we can empower ourselves and brighten our own light by never giving our power away.  We give our power away when we seek approval from others and when we hold back our truth because we are afraid of not fitting in…not fitting in with others, or perhaps with what society deems ‘right’.

If you’ve given your power away to another person, a co-worker, a boss or even a job, take it back! Take your power back by doing what feels right.  Stop hoping that others are going to change and that you will wake up from this horrible dream.  Take your power back and make your dreams become your reality, whatever dreams you may have.

You deserve it.  You are AMAZING.  You are a BRIGHT LIGHT just waiting to bust out and FLY!  Go for it…the jar is open.

Lots of Love & TONS OF LIGHT!

Vicki

‘The Greatest Love’

So, today, I feel totally, extremely blessed.  I feel that way, because for the first time in my life, on Valentine’s Day, nonetheless, I finally can say that I LOVE myself!

On September 11, 2011, I had one of the most ah-mazing experiences of my entire life.  Not only did I have the privilege of being called on stage in NYC at the Hay House Movers & Shakers Speak, Write, Promote Event to share my message, but more importantly, I felt that during my speech, everyone in the room was truly connected.  You see, in the middle of this 5-7 minute speech, I just broke out in song…that’s right, you heard me correctly, I broke out in song!

I started to sing, “I believe the children are our future.  Teach them well, and let them lead the way.  Show them all the beauty they possess inside.  Give them a sense of pride, to make it easier.  Let the children’s laughter, remind us how we used to be…

I’m sure you know that familiar song well…”The Greatest Love of All,” sang beautifully, none other than, by Whitney Houston in her prime.  I began singing this song because Spirit moved me to do so.  I was speaking of my purpose here on Earth…the preservation of childhood, and so it fit perfectly.

The most beautiful part of this whole experience was not that I was able to go on stage during this event and share my message with hundreds of people, including the beloved Louise Hay, amazing Cheryl Richardson, and truly inspiring publisher of Hay House, Reid Tracy…Instead, the most beautiful part of this whole experience was that when I began to sing that song, everyone, and I mean EVERYONE in the room joined in to sing it with me.  In that moment, we were all ONE, all connected at the very core of our being.  It was perfect, and beautiful, and truly Ah-mazing!

Today, on February 14, 2011, I feel very honored to have had that experience, and even more inspired to share my message with the world.  I believe that their are 7 Core Essentials to building strong foundations for our children, which ultimately lead to being the best possible version of yourself in adulthood.  The first of those is LOVING YOURSELF.

I know it sounds cliche’, but in truth it is the answer to all of the cracks in our very own foundation of life.  How about this Valentine’s day, you step out of your comfort zone of looking for love from others and you take the time to find your TRUE reflection.

You are absolutely beautiful.  You ARE Source energy.  You are AH-MAZING!  Take a deeper look in that MIRROR and see that you are all that you ever searched for…go ahead…Love yourself!

Here’s a tool to try this week to get started on this beautiful journey to the Greatest Love of AllLoving Yourself  (I will send another tip after you’ve practiced this for at least 1 week, so make sure you follow this blog so you won’t miss out)

Speak kindly to yourself.

1)   Start your day, every day, with a positive affirmation just for you.  As you lay in your cozy bed, (even just for the first 5 seconds of those waking moments) close your eyes, and think to yourself…I am motivated.  I am worthy.  I am beautiful.  I am ah-mazing!  It doesn’t really matter if you believe it at first…’fake it til ya make it!’

2)   After you stretch and get ready to start your day, before you hop into that shower, stop and look in the MIRROR, then say those same affirmations as you look deep into your very own eyes. (I know it can be hard to do your first time, but my 1st graders do mirror work, so trust me, you can too!)  It’s just you, Source energy and the mirror, and I promise IT will  move you!

3)   As your day rolls on and the voices build, breathe in and say those same affirmations again and again.  Shield yourself from the negative thoughts and immerse yourself in Love.  If you’ve ever loved someone or something, I mean really loved, then you know that the first thing you did was speak kindly.  Falling in Love with yourself means starting at square one…speak words of kindness, and only words of kindness.  If at some point, you find that words of self- doubt, despair, or the good ‘ol beating up of the self creep up on you, just breathe in again and repeat your kind words.  It’s just practice, but practice does make perfect…and the Truth is, you’re already perfect, you just might not know it yet!

Sending you lots of Love (and the courage to Love yourself),

Vicki


If you liked this blog  post, you may also want to check out www.thelightinsideofme.wordpress.com for guidance to inspire children! 🙂