Empowering Praise

Have you ever stopped to think about how your childhood affects you?  Childhood is the ground level in this life.  It is our foundation.  We simply cannot say, ‘What happens in childhood stays in childhood,’ because the truth of the matter is, it doesn’t stay anywhere.  Our childhood is our base for this life that we lead, and without a strong foundation, we struggle to navigate the waters of life.  The good news is… it’s never too late to create a strong foundation for your children or yourself!

I am the youngest of four girls and there are 11, 14 and 15 years from me to my big sister’s, so as a child I got a great deal of attention.  I was a dancer, a singer, an artist, and yes, a writer, even at a young age.  I won art contests, had amazing opportunities in dance, was recognized as a soloist at state competitions, and was honored for my writing.  I was usually praised for what I was doing according to what others thought…

“You’re a good artist Vicki,”

“That was a great song,”

“Good job on your dance.”

I worked hard to be the best, but I wasn’t always the best.  When I wasn’t the best, of course I felt less than.

My parents were loving, hard working people, who taught us to be kind, generous, and always help those in need.  They were truly amazing and always tried to do their very best with their children, as we all do in our own way. They never intended to pass on this feeling of unworthiness to me.  They were truly oblivious to this core belief being born within me at a young age.

No-one set out to give me this core belief as a child, yet the message was clear, “Be the best, or it’s just not good enough.”

We don’t even realize what we do to our kids because we are dealing with our own core beliefs as we parent our children.

I’ve worked with children for over 20 years in my life and I have an amazing tool for you today…

When your child tries their hardest, overcomes a fear, tries something new, or even wins an art contest, before you tell them what you think, take the time to ask them what they think.  I often praise my son for doing and being, but I am constantly reminding myself of this lesson and asking him to tell me how he feels so that he will know how amazing he is whether he is 1st, 2nd, 3rd or 5,983rd!

Empowering praise is praise that we give to our children and ourselves, where we take a step back and say, “Wow! You did your personal best, and good for you!” Empowering praise is praise we give to our children and ourselves even when we feel like we’ve failed.  We take a deep breath and say, “That was my best at that time, I will prevail.”

Give your children a gift and give yourself a gift…

See the Light within no matter what the outcome is on your next endeavor!

Lots of Love & tons of Light,

Vicki

Let Go of the How and Focus on the Why

I was recently asked, “Why do you do what you do?”

First, let me tell you a little about me…

I am an elementary teacher who focuses on building the self esteem of children and therefore touching their hearts, long before I even attempt to teach their minds.  For many years, I have taught holistically and non-conventionally.  I teach in a public school from September to June and then run camps in the summer based on my research and experience to build self esteem in children and help them to speak their truth.

In the past decade, my work has expanded to adults as well.  I conduct workshops for adults, provide coaching services, speak at various events as an inspirational speaker, and of course, blog.  I’ve come to realize that how I’m getting from here to there, doesn’t really matter.  Instead, what matters most, is the why of it all.  My why is answered in the work that I do for children and adults because essentially, it’s all the same.  I educate, enlighten, and empower children and adults to be their absolute best!

I believe that our childhood is our foundation in life and that we can never say, “What happens in childhood stays in childhood.” In truth, what happens in childhood affects who we are to become in this life, whether we choose to believe that or not. Basically, I am building strong foundations for children in their childhood by giving them tools to navigate the waters of life successfully in the years to come.  I also help adults to repair and strengthen their foundations with these very same tools because I believe that it’s never too late to love that child within!

When we are working towards a goal, no matter what that goal may be, we have a tendency to focus on how we are going to attain that goal.  In my experience, when I focus on; how I am going to get that book deal, how I’m going to leave my full-time job to do the work I truly love full-time or how to get from here to there, I become very stuck!  On the flip side, when I focus why I do what I do, everything just comes to me in perfect timing, as it should.

I do what I do, because…

Childhood is simply too precious to ignore.

I do what I do, because…

We all need tools to navigate the waters of life successfully.

I do what I do, because…

                              Everyone deserves the very best in this life!

What’s your why?

Lots of Love & Tons of Light,

Vicki

In Search of God

Several years ago I was on a quest,

a quest to find God.

I went from church to church looking for the right place for me.  What I was discovering was that some things felt really good and others, not so much.  Since I always go by what feels right, and nothing felt totally right, I continued my search.

As a young child, I remember going to church every Sunday with my parents and sitting there with my Barbie dolls or some other toy to keep me occupied during the service.  Once in a while I would hear something that startled me (or put fear into me) and I would whisper my fears to my dad.  My mom would shoot a harsh look at me to be quiet, but my dad would wrap his arms around me and say,

God loves you.”

As I got older, I began to go to Religious Education to prepare for Communion, and then Confirmation.  I have never been a trouble maker, but I’ve always been passionate about what I believe to be true.  I was thrown out of religious education class a few times because I questioned the teachings, but I honestly was not being a smartass. I was really curious and simply seeking the Truth.

I vaguely remember a story in the Bible of the Lord being pleased by the smell of an animal that was sacrificed for him…I stood up and firmly said, “That’s not MY God.”  The very next class, they showed us a fictional movie of what God was ‘suppose’ to be.  It was strange and I couldn’t hold back, so I said, “That’s NOT God!  God is in every one of us.  God is the brightest light you can ever imagine.  In fact, God is so bright, that you can’t even imagine the brightness.  God is the wind, the rain, the energy all around us.  God is not outside of us, nor is God male or female!”  With that, the priest was instructed to ‘have a talk with me.’

I somehow got through all of the requirements and was deemed Catholic, but I still didn’t feel I had my answers.  Time went by and I grew into a young woman who ventured out into the world still seeking the Truth.  I went to Shamans, Psychics and every kind of religious organization you could think of…then I took a break.  I just stopped going to all of these different places and I started to look within.

One Saturday afternoon, I drove by a church that said, ‘UNITY’ in front of the building.  I was compelled to walk inside and so I did.  No-one was there.  It was just an empty, open building.  I walked down a narrow hallway looking at all of the beautiful pictures on the wall.  Then I came to one that caught my attention immediately…

It was a picture with a beautiful golden frame that was oddly covered with a white cloth.  The white cloth was tacked with two clear tacks above the top of the frame.  Under the golden frame was an engraved tag that said, “The Christ.” I felt a chill run up my spine and that good ol’ Catholic guilt came flooding in.  I was frightened to lift the cloth, as I couldn’t imagine what could be so bad that this picture labeled, ‘The Christ’ would be COVERED!

I stepped back for a moment to ponder this whole situation and them something took over me and I lifted the cloth.

Under the cloth, in this beautiful golden frame, was a mirror!

At first glance, I noticed my facial features and was puzzled by the label and the mirror.  I then looked deeper at my own image and felt glued to this reflection starring back at me. I blinked my eyes and looked again, deeply into my own eyes and remembered the label under the picture.  I felt sun streaming through the window at the end of the hall upon my face and tears well up in my eyes.  I suddenly got it…

God is not outside of you.

God is within you!

In that one moment, I discontinued my search for the right church or religious following.  I had found my Truth.  The truth within that we all have and we all know, but we sometimes forget.  The truth is, God is within us, always available to us, and constantly there for us to reach our highest good.

The next time you look into that mirror, look a little deeper and see the Christ within.  Understand that God loves you, and therefore, you need to Love You!

From the Light in me, to the Light in you,

Vicki

Don’t Let Anyone Take YOUR Power Away

A few days ago I read a children’s book titled, ‘Fireflies,‘ by Julie Brinkloe, to a group of girls for my GIRLS RULE Camp.  This book is a story of a child who feels the excitement of catching fireflies in mid-summer in a glass jar.  I love this story because when I was little that very event created many happy memories that I cherish, with my dad.

In this story, the child is called to come inside and brings the fireflies in his room, thinking the fireflies would be okay because he poked holes in the top of the jar.  When he first sets the jar down, he admires the bright glowing lights of the fireflies, and he says, “My Fireflies.”  In a few moments, he notices that the light in the jar is getting dimmer and dimmer.  He starts to realize that for the lights to brighten, he must let them go, but he doesn’t want to let go of his fireflies.

When the light gets very dim, with tears rolling down his cheeks, he opens the jar and points the jar toward the window.  He says, “Fly!”  Suddenly, the lights brighten and the fireflies explode out into the summer night air!

I’ve always loved this book because it reminds me of my dad, who is no longer here with me on earth, but last week it took on a new meaning…

Sometimes, we allow other people or situations to dim our light.  We allow ourselves to conform to what others want or what appears to be acceptable in society.  The problem is, we are not being TRUE to ourselves.  We slowly become dimmer and dimmer, and something inside of us dies.  Perhaps it’s passion, imagination, desire, or inspiration.  Nonetheless, it dies.

We can free ourselves by being true to ourselves and honoring our feelings.  Most importantly, we can empower ourselves and brighten our own light by never giving our power away.  We give our power away when we seek approval from others and when we hold back our truth because we are afraid of not fitting in…not fitting in with others, or perhaps with what society deems ‘right’.

If you’ve given your power away to another person, a co-worker, a boss or even a job, take it back! Take your power back by doing what feels right.  Stop hoping that others are going to change and that you will wake up from this horrible dream.  Take your power back and make your dreams become your reality, whatever dreams you may have.

You deserve it.  You are AMAZING.  You are a BRIGHT LIGHT just waiting to bust out and FLY!  Go for it…the jar is open.

Lots of Love & TONS OF LIGHT!

Vicki

Life Starts When YOU Begin to Live

Three years ago on Thanksgiving morning, I received a chilling call that has changed the course of my life and my overall outlook…

On Wednesday, November 25, 2009, I went to bed with a smile upon my face because I realized that I was finally going to write the ‘book inside of me.’  I couldn’t wait to share this news with my parents, especially my dad who was always my biggest fan, the next morning because we were going to visit them for Thanksgiving.

On Thursday, November 26, 2009, I woke from a frightening dream at 4 am in the morning.  I can still remember it like it was yesterday…

In my dream, I was in a dismal cemetery.  It was drizzling, and my sisters and I were standing in a semi-circle starring down at a casket in a hole in the ground.  We were all dressed in black and I immediately assumed that it must be a sign that my mom was sick again, because she has battled cancer for many years.  In the next moment I looked up from the casket and standing directly across from me, also dressed in black, was my mom.  It was at that point in the dream that I realized that this was not about my mom, but rather my dad.  I then woke in a panic as my heart raced with fear.

Ironically, I turned to my left and noticed my 4 year old standing there starring at me.  I thought it was odd that he was there at 4 am, so I asked, “Nico, what’s wrong hunnie?”  He quickly responded with, “Mommy, I had a really bad dream.”  I gently hugged him and swaddled him into me and then asked him to tell me about his dream so that we could release it and go back to sleep like we normally do when he has a bad dream.  Unfortunately, he looked directly into my eyes and said, “Mama, I can’t tell you about this one.”  It was then that my fears were confirmed and I knew that this terrible dream was not only a dream but a sign that I needed to brace myself for.

Sure enough, at 7 am on that memorable Thanksgiving day, the phone call rolled in.  The call where I learned that my dad was admitted to the hospital the night before with an extremely high white cell count.

I went to my dad’s bedside and spent the next few days with him.  I talked to him, comforted him, did energy work on him, sang to him, and loved him.

The week-end prior to this nightmare, I was at a Hay House I Can Do It Conference in Tampa, FL having a revelation that there was a Hay House book in me. There were many inspiring instances that had occurred during these memorable days, but I distinctly remember a phrase by Dr. Wayne Dyer sticking in my mind…”Don’t Die With Your Music Left In You.”

I took this to mean something for my dad and so as I held him,  sang to him and supported him, I whispered that phrase into his ear, feeling like maybe he still had some music left in him…

Unfortunately, as I held my dad, a few moments after whispering that phrase and singing “Over the Rainbow” to him, I watched him take his last few breaths on this earth…It was Sunday, November 29, 2009 and my life was forever changed.

It took me several weeks to realize that that phrase that was stuck in my mind was NOT for my dad.  Instead, it was my dad’s way of continuing to inspire me.  Once I became aware of this I stopped saying, “Someday,” and I started living today, every day, in the moment.  You see, I suddenly realized that life is just too damn short to waste on fear and worry and I began to LIVE life instead of existing through life.  Within 6 months from that time, I published my first children’s book.  A book that had sat behind my desk for several years.  Now, almost 3 years later I am about to present a LIVE online event with Hay House…go figure!

This is all because I got a HUGE shock in my life and realized that life is here for us to LIVE and not to just exist through.

I believe that there are two forces that drive us in life…Love & fear.  Three years ago, I felt that I was being totally driven by fear and I knew something had to change.  For much of my life I was driven by fear.  Worry was never far behind me and I spent most of my days thinking ‘toxically’.

My Dad was an amazing man who always saw the sunshine in the darkness, but he too had a great deal of worry in his life, and that worry finally got to him in the form of cancer and took him before any of us had the chance to process what just happened.  Losing my dad made me see that I wanted to live life freely and let go of depression and that terrible feeling of unworthiness, so I made a vow to myself that 75-80% of the time I would only allow positive thoughts and I would become a positive person!

First, I broke this down by days of the week.  For example; Since there are 7 days in a week, I was only allowed to have 1 3/4 days that felt like ‘bad days’.  That still felt like too much, so I then broke it down to hours in a day.  I am awake approximately 15-16 hours a day, so 20-25% of that day is about 4 hours.  I therefore would only allow myself to be in a ‘bad mood’ for approximately 4 hours in a day.  That started to feel like too much too and I began to get very choosy about what I would let bother me and what I would worry about.

When the negative thoughts or feelings would creep in, I simply asked myself, “Is this worth my 20-25%?”  Prior to making this vow to myself, I would get upset about the smallest mishaps in life.  Maybe the traffic was too heavy or my favorite outfit wasn’t clean…that would send me into a tizzy!  I also was very hard on myself and never saw my own beautiful light.

Once I started this new practice, I suddenly had room to love myself, to listen to the voice within and above all to LIVE life to the fullest!

There’s no coincidence that I was at a Hay House I Can Do It conference the week-end before my dad left this earth.  There is no coincidence that Dr. Dyer’s phrase, “Don’t Die With Your Music Left In You” stuck in my brain.  There is also no coincidence that I am now presenting a LIVE online Hay House event!

Life starts when YOU begin living.  Stop existing and Start Living!

Lots of LOVE and tons of LIGHT,

Vicki

Sign up for my free LIVE online event happening on June 26th by clicking this link… Ignite the Light: Creating Strong Foundations for Children & Adults

Are You Plugged In?

Have you ever walked into a room, clicked the light switch, and the light flickers because the plug is kind of falling out of the wall?

As soon as you realize that the light is flickering because the plug is not secure, you generally stabilize the plug and make sure it’s totally plugged into the Source of energy needed to supply the light, right?

Yeah, well, believe it or not, that’s what happens to us as human beings as well…

The Universe is an amazing place, isn’t it?  It doesn’t really matter what you believe about God, but most of us believe that there is something out there, well, bigger than us, bigger than this moment.

Some like to call this energy God, Goddess, or even Spirit.  I like to call it Source energy, and I think I just might be on to something because my 6 year old son, who shoots straight from the hip and is pretty darn firm in his convictions, confirmed this recently.

One day, I walked in the door from work and he immediately greeted me at the door with this question,

“Mom, who made God?”

Hmmmm… Well, welcome home Vicki!  I was totally caught off guard because I had baggage from the day in my hands, dinner on my brain, and I was barely in the door.

I’ve always considered myself a Spiritual person, but I don’t practice a religion, per se, so my son and I have deep talks and share what we think about the world around us (which I always find quite amazing).  I just wasn’t expecting something this deep upon arrival from a hectic day!

I took a deep breath, put my bags on the floor, took my shoes off (yeah, now that feels better), and then looked into his eyes and said, “Well, buddy, what do you think?”  My little avatar put his finger to his chin and replied, “Hmmmmm, well, let me think for a moment.”  He then closed his eyes for a brief moment (literally) and energetically spouted, “Oh, I know!  It’s the energy of the Light.  Yeah, that’s it.  God is the energy of the light, and that light is all around us and in us.  Thanks Mom!”

I’m sure you can imagine the look upon my face and the Spirit Rush that ran up my spine.  I immediately thought to myself, (and may have even said it out loud) “Thank you Universe.”

Now, what does this have to do with the plug in the wall?

Well, you see, I’ve come to realize that when we feel a bit ‘dim‘ (depressed, worried, fearful, stuck, etc.), it isn’t because the Universe isn’t providing for us.  Instead, it’s because we have disconnected from Source!

That ‘Energy of the Light,’ that my son ‘schooled’ me on, is ever present.  It is always available and constantly ready for us to plug in, but Source energy cannot make you plug in, you have to choose to plug in!

So, do you feel like your light is flickering lately instead of a steady stream of beautiful light?  If so, then here are some simple steps to get you plugged back in to Source energy…You know, the Energy of the Light!

1)   Take a few moments to thank the Universe every morning before you even open your eyes and hop out of bed.

2)  Start your day with a positive affirmation.  Make it something really useful, like; “I love you!” ( as you look at yourself in the mirror) , “I know that I can create miracles in my life”, or “I am full of Love & Light”.

3)  End your day with gratitude.  Thank the Universe for the blessings of the day, even if you felt that you had an awful day.  After all, it is in darkness that we can truly see the light!

Wishing you lots of Love and a secure connection to the Light!

Vicki

If you like this blog, you might also like www.thelightinsideofme.wordpress.com

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Be You!

Okay, so I have to admit that my husband and I thoroughly enjoy watching Bethenny Frankel’s Reality Show.  We watch it because we both LOVE her for one reason or another.  For me, I love her for the same reason I love Steven Tyler…what you see is what you get!

For those of you who know me personally, you know that this is exactly how I roll…whatcha see is whatcha get!

Last night, I found one more reason to LOVE Bethenny…she came up with a really awesome quote… “It seems like the minute you become successful, everyone starts beating you down!”

Unfortunately, I can totally relate to this of late… this made me begin to ponder this idea a bit.

So, let me ask you this…

Are you a BEACON of LIGHT, or

a LIGHT DIMMER?

You see, I believe that deep inside all of us, is a light.  I wrote and published a children’s book about this a few years back www.thelightinsideofme.com  and I am now realizing that the lesson in that book is not only for children, but also the adults that surround them.

I do have to agree with Bethenny…It does appear that, “when we start to feel successful, others start beating us down,” but it doesn’t have to actually bring us down.

Jealously is a terrible feeling that brings out the worst in people.  We all experience it.  We all have felt it at some point in our lives.  Yet, it’s what we do with it from this point forward that really matters.

When we feel jealous of another person in this life for what they do, or who they are, we are simply adding power to our fears.  When our eyes are green with envy, we are giving that fear more attention than it truly deserves.  We are allowing fear to take over for love and setting ourselves up for a quick path to self-destruction.  Jealousy is just another way of saying, “I’m not good enough.”  It’s really sad, when you think of it that way, but that’s what it truly is.

If you feel even the slightest bit of jealousy for another person, (even if it’s someone on a Reality TV Show), do yourself a favor and release the feeling with Love.  You can do this by simply saying, “I am worthy.”  When you put that energy out in the Universe, it will be magnetized right back to you.  When you’re words are saying, “Who does she think she is?”  Your thoughts are truly saying, “Why am I not good enough for that?”  There is no need to dim the light of another person who is finding success in the world.  It won’t make you feel any more worthy.  Instead, when you feel even the slightest bit of jealousy, go within, love yourself, nurture yourself, and then congratulate that person for who they are or what they do.

Be a BEACON, not a DIMMER…You’ll feel a whole lot better about yourself and you’ll help to spread more light in the world!

In Love & Light,

Vicki

If you liked this blog post, you may also like www.thelightinsideofme.wordpress.com

Learn more about me at www.vickisavini.com