There are many instances when we feel powerless-those times when we believe that someone else is in charge of our destiny. We get stuck in the past and we feel depressed because of a story we tell ourselves and continue to write new chapters for, or we worry incessantly worry about the future.
From birth to age five we are forming our belief system. We come out of childhood with some truly awesome beliefs and also some really shitty beliefs. Each one of us has a core toxic belief that was formed during this critical stage of development. The core five are; I’m not worthy, I’m not safe, I’m not loved, I’m not enough, and I’m not important.
Generally, you have one of these beliefs that is like a thorn in your side as an adult. Whenever you feel depressed, anxious, lonely, or overwhelmed you are most likely triggered by an event that is validating that toxic belief from childhood. This in turn brings you back to your child self and you begin to react to life instead of responding to it. You start to believe that life is happening to you instead of happening for you. You ultimately feel stuck and therefore powerless.
When you feel powerless you might seek understanding outside of yourself. You might go to a therapist, a life coach, a psychic, a shaman, your best friend, a family member or a trusted friend. This works sometimes to get you back on track, but if you dip in to that well too often, no-one wants to listen anymore because they too are dealing with their own toxic belief!
This then makes you feel more powerless and sometimes hopeless. Wait! STOP! Put the red flag up. We need to come to an deep understanding that the answers truly are within. You can go to a therapist, a life coach, a psychic or a friend. You can get advice from hundreds of people, but ultimately, YOU are in control of your destiny. The people you talk to about your problems and the books you read are resources for you, but they do not hold a personal plan for you. You are the one who can do the work and you are the one who must make decisions to get your own life on track.
What’s getting in your way of happiness and owning your own power is your mind. If you’re jumping ahead, you will feel anxious about the future. The future hasn’t happened yet and although we can plan for it, there are no guarantees that ‘our plan’ is going to be what’s best for us. If you’re stuck in the past-constantly reliving old beliefs and patterns-you will feel like you are stuck in quick sand!
Breathe. Put your hand on your heart, close your eyes, breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Breathe again. Listen to the sounds around you. Bring yourself back to the present moment. You cannot control the past or the future, but you can control your thoughts. Put a stop sign up in your brain and stop the thoughts when you feel anxious, depressed or overwhelmed. It’s just the story you’re telling yourself right now. You might be triggered and trying to validate a toxic belief from childhood, but it doesn’t have to be that way in this moment.
If you want control of your life. If you want to own your own power, then take this moment (and as many as you need throughout the day) to bring yourself back to the present moment. Remind yourself that everything is working out for your highest good and working yourself up with toxic thoughts isn’t going to help you in any way, shape or form.
You’ve got this! You own your power. The answers are truly within. Gather your info from your resources, but then take your power back and make decisions that are serving you instead of sabotaging you. You’ve had the power all along, perhaps you just didn’t know it!
Now go have a great day with one thing in mind-YOU own your power!
Lots of Love & Tons of Light,
*** For more information on the core five toxic beliefs go to my website www.vickisavini.com and learn about my new book, Burn the Damn Cape: How to Stop Rescuing Others & Start Loving Yourself.