In Search of God

Several years ago I was on a quest,

a quest to find God.

I went from church to church looking for the right place for me.  What I was discovering was that some things felt really good and others, not so much.  Since I always go by what feels right, and nothing felt totally right, I continued my search.

As a young child, I remember going to church every Sunday with my parents and sitting there with my Barbie dolls or some other toy to keep me occupied during the service.  Once in a while I would hear something that startled me (or put fear into me) and I would whisper my fears to my dad.  My mom would shoot a harsh look at me to be quiet, but my dad would wrap his arms around me and say,

God loves you.”

As I got older, I began to go to Religious Education to prepare for Communion, and then Confirmation.  I have never been a trouble maker, but I’ve always been passionate about what I believe to be true.  I was thrown out of religious education class a few times because I questioned the teachings, but I honestly was not being a smartass. I was really curious and simply seeking the Truth.

I vaguely remember a story in the Bible of the Lord being pleased by the smell of an animal that was sacrificed for him…I stood up and firmly said, “That’s not MY God.”  The very next class, they showed us a fictional movie of what God was ‘suppose’ to be.  It was strange and I couldn’t hold back, so I said, “That’s NOT God!  God is in every one of us.  God is the brightest light you can ever imagine.  In fact, God is so bright, that you can’t even imagine the brightness.  God is the wind, the rain, the energy all around us.  God is not outside of us, nor is God male or female!”  With that, the priest was instructed to ‘have a talk with me.’

I somehow got through all of the requirements and was deemed Catholic, but I still didn’t feel I had my answers.  Time went by and I grew into a young woman who ventured out into the world still seeking the Truth.  I went to Shamans, Psychics and every kind of religious organization you could think of…then I took a break.  I just stopped going to all of these different places and I started to look within.

One Saturday afternoon, I drove by a church that said, ‘UNITY’ in front of the building.  I was compelled to walk inside and so I did.  No-one was there.  It was just an empty, open building.  I walked down a narrow hallway looking at all of the beautiful pictures on the wall.  Then I came to one that caught my attention immediately…

It was a picture with a beautiful golden frame that was oddly covered with a white cloth.  The white cloth was tacked with two clear tacks above the top of the frame.  Under the golden frame was an engraved tag that said, “The Christ.” I felt a chill run up my spine and that good ol’ Catholic guilt came flooding in.  I was frightened to lift the cloth, as I couldn’t imagine what could be so bad that this picture labeled, ‘The Christ’ would be COVERED!

I stepped back for a moment to ponder this whole situation and them something took over me and I lifted the cloth.

Under the cloth, in this beautiful golden frame, was a mirror!

At first glance, I noticed my facial features and was puzzled by the label and the mirror.  I then looked deeper at my own image and felt glued to this reflection starring back at me. I blinked my eyes and looked again, deeply into my own eyes and remembered the label under the picture.  I felt sun streaming through the window at the end of the hall upon my face and tears well up in my eyes.  I suddenly got it…

God is not outside of you.

God is within you!

In that one moment, I discontinued my search for the right church or religious following.  I had found my Truth.  The truth within that we all have and we all know, but we sometimes forget.  The truth is, God is within us, always available to us, and constantly there for us to reach our highest good.

The next time you look into that mirror, look a little deeper and see the Christ within.  Understand that God loves you, and therefore, you need to Love You!

From the Light in me, to the Light in you,

Vicki

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