Shifting from Fear to Love in a Pandemic

It seems like last week was just a regular week right around Tuesday. However, by Wednesday, everything was literally shifting.

I awakened on Wednesday, March 11th and felt very sad for an unknown reason. I couldn’t explain it. I just woke up feeling empty and full of sorrow. For some odd reason, I remember I wasn’t sleeping well and when I did sleep, I had strange dreams but can’t really remember what they were about. They just left me with an uneasy feeling upon waking. I forced myself to get out of bed and begin my routine; wake my son, let the dogs out, make lunches, really ‘wake’ my son this time, feed the dogs and head upstairs to get ready for work. I remember sitting on the edge of my bed. I was tired and felt emotionally drained. I laid my head back for a moment and began to pet the dogs. One jumped down and ran downstairs. The other stood there barking at me for what seemed like no reason. I tried to ignore him. He was fed. He went out…what? What could he possibly want?

Then, I literally felt the room shake. I thought perhaps my mind was playing tricks on me because I was tired and had a bit of a headache, but no, the room definitely shook. I knew for sure a few moments later when a friend texted, “Oh my God! That was an earthquake!” An earthquake in our area? No, that couldn’t be right. That’s unheard of. Sure enough, within moments google confirmed a 3.2 earthquake in our area. Never have I ever. I proceeded with my day, going through the motions and still feeling as if something was not right. In the days that followed, everything began to fall apart.

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It was a magnificent shift happening that appeared to come out of nowhere. On Tuesday, I picked up a few odds and ends at the grocery store-including toilet paper-yet by Sunday, there was not a roll to be found in the aisle.

What is going on here? What is happening?

People are beginning to panic about this virus, but why? Should I be panicking?

That was less than a week ago and yet it seems like forever ago.

Last week-end we were told that our schools were closing. When I first read the message I thought it said one week. I looked again and noticed it said 5 weeks! I thought this had to be a type error but then several posts on Facebook confirmed it was, in fact, 5 weeks.

Now, here we are a little over a week after the storm has begun in our area. We sit in our homes trying to adjust to our new norm. Me trying to support my 1st graders from home with limited resources, and home-school my teen-who clearly wants nothing to do with that. All the teens want is to hang out with their friends and enjoy their ‘vacation‘. The reality hasn’t quite hit them just yet. They beg for sleep overs or at least time to get together with their friends. Yet, we are now at a point where, as responsible parents, we simply will not allow that.

Everything seems to be shutting down around us; schools, restaurants, the convenience of walking into the store and buying whatever your heart desires. Even the NCAA Tournament was cancelled!

What? Really? This is so surreal…

Families are all in their homes practicing something we’re getting a crash course on called ‘social distancing.’ Some parents work from home while trying to home-school. Others go to work and struggle to find daycare. Kids don’t know what to do with themselves, and who are we kidding, neither do we adults.

We read, we listen, we analyze, we worry, we support one another as best as we can and we wonder where this is all going and when it will end. The economy is tanking. We’re isolated. Life as we know it is nowhere to be found. Yet, somehow, beneath all the fear and anxiety there is an unexpected calm, deep within my soul.

You see, the past few years have been turbulent for me and for many around me. It has seemed like time was passing quicker and there has been more dictation and conflict in our lives. There’s been a great deal of fear-based thinking-what I like to call-Stinkin’ Thinkin’. I kept saying, “something’s gotta give!” I believe many people may have uttered that same phrase in the past decade. This crazy, hectic, busy society with brash politics and a deep lack of empathy overall; a decline in compassion, understanding and an obvious disconnect overall. A disconnect between families, neighbors, friends, states, countries and yes, even Spirituality, or what you might call God.

I started thinking back to Wednesday, March 11th. An earthquake is the earth literally shifting. It IS a shift. I began to ponder deeper. Maybe this is the shift many of us have longed for. Maybe this experience-that feels like a nightmare-will make us all a little kinder. Maybe we’ll all have more empathy and a deeper compassion for others. Perhaps families will connect in a way that they haven’t since technology and social media took over our lives. Maybe parents will see their children in a different light and children will gain a whole new understanding of their parents. Maybe students will appreciate the community that schools bring. Perhaps people will put their phones down and be present when we can all meet eye-to-eye again. Maybe, since the whole world is experiencing this at exactly the same time, we’ll realize we are absolutely all in this together. Our race, color, gender, sexual preference, political beliefs, philosophical thoughts…none of it really matters. Because maybe, we are all just part of an intricate and yet very delicate cloth where each fiber depends upon the other.

The world is shifting. Maybe we all need to shift with it; laugh more, listen more, dance more, experience more, live more, and above all, be present.

Look at the grocery store employees who are exhausted and working overtime to meet your needs, in a different light. Look at the doctors and nurses who haven’t gone home to their own families for you, in a different light. Put yourself in the shoes of the teachers who educate and support your children on a daily basis and look at them, in a different light. Look at the person next to you, across from you, or miles away from you, in a different light.  See the light through the darkness folks. We cannot see light without the background of the darkness.

What we are experiencing today is difficult. It absolutely is not something anyone in their right mind would sign up for. However, let’s shift and think of it as going through labor. At the end of this, we are going to have a beautiful gift. Let’s start now by speaking more words of kindness, showing compassion to others and supporting one another in ways you never dreamed of. Put yourself in the shoes of others. Find gratitude in every moment.

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One day, we will all look back and smile. We will remember our strength and we will be grateful for the time the Universe gave us this opportunity to slow down. I know it’s dark now, and it’s going to get darker because this storm isn’t over, but know that we can come out of this darkness stronger, wiser, kinder and more present.

The Universe is shifting physically and energetically. What will you do with this opportunity?

Ignite Your Inner Light!

Do you ever feel bored, uneasy, stagnant or overwhelmed with your thoughts? Chances are, you have allowed your inner light to become dim.

On the flip, have you ever felt excited about a project or motivated by just the thought of something you are pursuing or thinking about? That’s when we are igniting that inner light.

Our inner light has been called zing, ing, our Higher Self, chi, flow, and even God. It is that feeling you get inside when you are ‘on the right track,’ ‘in the flow,’ or connected to your higher self.

Quite simply, it is that feeling you get when you are going confidently in the direction of your dreams.

It is passion. It is the passion we feel when we are in alignment with Spirit. It’s a rush of energy that is unexplained in words. It is the magic that we all seek and we welcome when it knocks on our hearts. It is a deep feeling that all is well and we are home.

Many people strive for this feeling on a daily basis and can’t seem to crack the code. We walk through life existing instead of living because we are not sure what our passion is.

However, there is no code and there’s also not a huge mystery…

The answer is aligning yourself with those people, places and things that ‘light’ you up!

It’s very easy to get stuck in the hum drum of life. I am a single mom, teacher, author and coach. Starting in January, I decided that I was taking a year to just BE and to allow myself to heal my wounds and truly learn to love myself.

This year has brought twists and turns I didn’t anticipate, including losing my mom in June.  However, I can honestly say that I am truly grateful for all these lessons and the path in front of me.

In the past month, I have felt somewhat empty and I found that it wasn’t only due to the loss of my mom. Instead, it was due to the loss of myself!

In January, I made a conscious decision to put the focus on myself this year instead of others. I’ve always given more to others than myself and even after writing a book last year that teaches others how to truly love themselves (Burn the Damn Cape), I hadn’t quite done that yet for myself. So, I declared that 2019 was the year for me to go into my own chrysalis. A year to explore my inner needs, wants, and desires. It was a year to shift the focus to me without getting distracted by healing others.

Instead of writing blogs, articles or books, I decided to focus on journaling, meditating and self-care. I really believed that this would help me to heal.

However, what I’ve come to realize is that an integral part of Vicki Savini IS helping others to heal. Not writing for the world actually dimmed my inner light. Not running those programs made me forget who I truly am. I felt lost in a sea of a dark abyss.

Our inner light is ignited and burns brightly when we are doing what we love, spending time with those who are in alignment with our highest good, and going to places that lift our spirits.

So now, I paddle board in the mornings, work out at some point in the day, date when I feel like it, spend lots of time with good girlfriends who make me laugh so hard I think I’m going to pee my pants, enjoy the company of my amazing son whenever I have the honor to do so, and write to express my inner light!

Thank you so much for being a part of this journey with me. I can’t thank you enough for reading my blogs, articles, and books and for commenting and sharing your journey as well. After all, we are truly all in this together!

What ignites your light?

Don’t wait for someone else to light your fire. Ignite that shit on your own. Dance, swim, create art, write, play a sport, play music, sing, laugh, laugh and laugh some more. Do what feels good in your heart and that light deep within with illuminate the path in front of you. This, I know to be true!

Go out and just enjoy life. Ignite that inner light by listening to what it is that your heart truly needs, wants, and desires.

You’ve totally got this!

Lots of Love & Tons of Light,

Vicki

 

 

You Own Your Power

There are many instances when we feel powerless-those times when we believe that someone else is in charge of our destiny. We get stuck in the past and we feel depressed because of a story we tell ourselves and continue to write new chapters for, or we worry incessantly worry about the future.

 

From birth to age five we are forming our belief system. We come out of childhood with some truly awesome beliefs and also some really shitty beliefs. Each one of us has a core toxic belief that was formed during this critical stage of development. The core five are; I’m not worthy, I’m not safe, I’m not loved, I’m not enough, and I’m not important.

Generally, you have one of these beliefs that is like a thorn in your side as an adult. Whenever you feel depressed, anxious, lonely, or overwhelmed you are most likely triggered by an event that is validating that toxic belief from childhood. This in turn brings you back to your child self and you begin to react to life instead of responding to it. You start to believe that life is happening to you instead of happening for you. You ultimately feel stuck and therefore powerless.

When you feel powerless you might seek understanding outside of yourself. You might go to a therapist, a life coach, a psychic, a shaman, your best friend, a family member or a trusted friend. This works sometimes to get you back on track, but if you dip in to that well too often, no-one wants to listen anymore because they too are dealing with their own toxic belief!

This then makes you feel more powerless and sometimes hopeless. Wait! STOP! Put the red flag up. We need to come to an deep understanding that the answers truly are within. You can go to a therapist, a life coach, a psychic or a friend. You can get advice from hundreds of people, but ultimately, YOU are in control of your destiny. The people you talk to about your problems and the books you read are resources for you, but they do not hold a personal plan for you. You are the one who can do the work and you are the one who must make decisions to get your own life on track.

What’s getting in your way of happiness and owning your own power is your mind. If you’re jumping ahead, you will feel anxious about the future. The future hasn’t happened yet and although we can plan for it, there are no guarantees that ‘our plan’ is going to be what’s best for us. If you’re stuck in the past-constantly reliving old beliefs and patterns-you will feel like you are stuck in quick sand!

Breathe. Put your hand on your heart, close your eyes, breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Breathe again. Listen to the sounds around you. Bring yourself back to the present moment. You cannot control the past or the future, but you can control your thoughts. Put a stop sign up in your brain and stop the thoughts when you feel anxious, depressed or overwhelmed. It’s just the story you’re telling yourself right now. You might be triggered and trying to validate a toxic belief from childhood, but it doesn’t have to be that way in this moment.

If you want control of your life. If you want to own your own power, then take this moment (and as many as you need throughout the day) to bring yourself back to the present moment. Remind yourself that everything is working out for your highest good and working yourself up with toxic thoughts isn’t going to help you in any way, shape or form.

You’ve got this! You own your power. The answers are truly within. Gather your info from your resources, but then take your power back and make decisions that are serving you instead of sabotaging you. You’ve had the power all along, perhaps you just didn’t know it!

Now go have a great day with one thing in mind-YOU own your power!

Lots of Love & Tons of Light,

Vicki

*** For more information on the core five toxic beliefs go to my website www.vickisavini.com and learn about my new book, Burn the Damn Cape: How to Stop Rescuing Others & Start Loving Yourself.

The ‘Sweet’ Life

In the past few months I’ve been getting hit hard with life lessons from the Universe. Sometimes it feels like a 2 x 4 over my head. Ever feel like that?

Something deep inside of me kept saying, ‘pay attention to your thoughts because your thoughts create your beliefs which in turn create your life!’

Essentially, this IS the Law of Attraction.

I’ve always believed in the Law of Attraction but wasn’t quite sure how it worked.

I mean sure, think positive thoughts and you feel better, right?

The question becomes…is it really that easy?

The answer is no!

It’s not that easy and it’s not how the Law of Attraction works.

You see, you can’t just put a thought out there that you don’t believe and think it’s going to manifest. Instead, you have to feel it to believe it to ultimately manifest it.

How do you do that you might say?  How do you feel what you’d like to manifest before you actually manifest it?

Well, you start by raising your vibration.

Many people look at me and think, ‘she’s a life coach and she published an empowerment book with Hay House so her life must be perfect.’

That’s laughable.

Truth is, I too am still on a journey of life and just because I teach empowerment does NOT mean I’ve reached Nirvana.

I mean seriously? If I already got to where I was going, what more would I have to learn and therefore teach?

Last week the Universe lined up the stars and put an online class right in front of me…

Natalie Ledwell’s Ultimate Success Masterclass.

And wouldn’t you know, what she teaches is none other than-

The Law of Attraction!

I signed up immediately to give myself a tune up and the first module reminded me of the importance of a positive daily practice.  You see, our minds are generally set up to focus on the negatives in life. We tend to zero in on what we don’t have instead of what we truly want, need and desire. We are coming from a place of lack and so we continue to create more lack.

Natalie suggested raising your vibration with a positive consistent daily practice. Some suggestions were; meditation, affirmations, volunteering, journaling etc.-all of which I have suggested to my clients in the past and that I do myself- but the one I’d like to share with you today is ‘random acts of kindness…’

A few months ago I moved into a new home with my son. I purchased a brand new bed in honor of a new start in my new life. The mattress was great the first few weeks and then hello chiropractor!

I finally went back to the mattress store and said we need to make an exchange. I worked with a very nice gentleman who was obviously overworked and under appreciated. Every time my son and I would go to this store, this poor guy was doing the work of three people.

I tried what felt like a million beds and then narrowed it down to two. We decided that I would return in a few days after going back to the chiropractor to get aligned.

I called the night I was to return and was told that Chris (my salesman) had a family emergency and wouldn’t be back until Saturday.

My son and I went back on Saturday to make the final choice and when I saw him the first thing I asked was, “How are you? I heard you had a family emergency. I hope all is well.”

After a few moments we began to talk and he shared that his wife has cancer and he had to take a few days off to care for her.

I no longer looked at him as a ‘salesman’ but instead as a human being who was going through life just like you and I.

As we sat to schedule the delivery my son and Chris got to talking about candy because Halloween is on the horizon. They both agreed that Kit Kats were by far the candy to dig for in the bag.

After we made the purchase and scheduled delivery my son and I ran some other errands. Together we decided to put together a Kit Kat Halloween pumpkin for Chris to thank him for his patience and diligence in this process of finding the princess her mattress with no pea!

My son ran in to deliver the plastic pumpkin filled with Kit Kats and a thank you card.

I was of course checking email in the car when Chris came out with tears in his eyes to say thank you.

At that very moment I felt my vibration soar.

We can walk around in a dark cloud our whole lives. We can focus on the negative in our life’s, worry about the future, feel like we’re not enough but that’s not going to bring us happiness.

If we truly want a ‘sweet life’ we need to change our thoughts and the only way to do that is to first begin to raise our vibration.

That means, do what makes your heart smile.

For some that’s communing with nature, playing or listening to music, praying, drawing, painting or writing. For others-like myself-it’s doing something kind for someone else.

Chris is a regular guy like you and I and I bet that there haven’t been too many times when someone noticed his effort and said thank you. That small, random act of kindness not only raised his vibration but also my own and my sons!

In this crazy world that we live in today with all of our crazy negative thoughts, perhaps we could take a few moments every day to just simply raise our vibrations.

If we all did that only a few times a day I wonder what we’d begin attracting to us.

I’m not a gambling kinda girl, but I’m willing to bet that life would get whole lot sweeter!

Go ahead, take a bite out of the sweet life and raise your vibration, I dare you!

Lots of Love & Tons of Light,

Vicki

That Made My Heart Smile

The Light Inside of Me

Every Wednesday morning, my first graders circle up on the perimeter of our colorful rug to do their ‘mirror work.’

Mirror work is a critical component of learning to love yourself and I make sure that we are all focused on this activity at least once a week. We have a mirror in a frame and we gently pass the mirror around the circle to each person in the classroom, including myself and a TA in the classroom. The goal is to look in the mirror and give the person staring back at you a genuine compliment. I tell the kids that I don’t want them to compliment the clothes that they wear or  the ‘things’ upon their bodies that were bought for them. Instead, I want them to look into their own eyes and give themselves a compliment or reassurance that they are awesome. I do this because I…

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Raising the AHA Generation: Is that a good thing?

When you hear Aha, you may think it is a good thing because ‘Aha’ usually means that you are becoming aware of something, but when you hear what AHA stands in this article, I’m not so sure it’s a good thing…

As a school teacher of 15 years I have seen many changes throughout the years. I have seen many changes in education, expectations, learning styles and overall behavior of our children. In the past few weeks I have become critically aware of three important elements that I see clear across the board with our current generation; (I could write another book on this but I will keep it short and sweet for now)

• Today’s children are generally anxious. Kids always want to know what is coming next and why they are doing what they are doing. They worry about the simple things in life yet do not pay attention to the details that can help them to feel secure. They have more fears today then we had in our childhood and they look for others to solve their problems because they are afraid that they don’t have the tools to do so on their own.
• Kids of today are learning to be helpless. Their minds are in three different places at once because they struggle to focus on one thing at a time. Perhaps this is because they are so anxious that they are not in the moment. Maybe they are too focused on the past and too fearful of the future to stay in the present moment, or perhaps they have just learned that they don’t have to do things for themselves because the adults will do it to get it done on their
• Today’s children are angry. There are many times in a day when I am putting fires out because someone has been ‘rubbed the wrong way’ or is upset because they didn’t get their way. They easily bark at one another instead of talking things out and listening to the ideas of others. Our children of today go from joyful to angry in a matter of minutes and then back to joyful when they get their way once again. It’s truly remarkable how they’ve learned to use anger as a bargaining chip.

So there you have it, the AHA generation in a nutshell. Now, where did this come from?

In my opinion, our kids are learning from us! Think about your average day and the amount of stress you are under. We run from one activity to another. We speak so quickly that we often wonder if we are making sense and we never make time to just BE. We have become Human Doings instead of Human Beings because we are trying to do way too much in our lives. Doesn’t that make you feel anxious?

And think about it… if you are anxious…if your child’s teachers are anxious…if the world spins this quickly daily and everybody is running in different directions…aren’t we all creating an anxious environment for our children to grow in? How could they not develop deep anxiety in life?

We put pressure on our children from the moment they enter school with testing (if not sooner based upon our own expectations). We constantly rush them from one activity to another because, well, hey that’s just what we do today. We never take time to sit and quiet our minds or teach our children to quiet their minds yet we expect them to relax and just be kids. Hmmmm, how are they to do that when even they are under so much pressure?

Let’s talk about learned helplessness– I don’t believe that we have done this on purpose, but it seems that we are always making excuses for our children’s behaviors or seeking a label to explain those behaviors instead of addressing the issues and teaching them how to problem solve. Our kids are over stimulated with electronics and under stimulated with human connection! We often ask our children to do something and then when we realize it hasn’t been done we do it ourselves because we are in a hurry and it’s just quicker that way. But, what are we creating with this behavior?

How about those angry kids? We are so hell bent on making sure that our children don’t experience what we experienced and we are so concerned with ‘fairness’ that we have forgotten that sometimes life isn’t fair and we all need to learn how to roll with the punches and go with the flow because sometimes things just don’t work out the way you intend.

Now, if you know anything about me, you know that I don’t like to complain about something without having a solution. So, what can we do?

We need to teach our kids how to be Problem Solvers.

We need to stop taking their power away by answering for them or doing it for them and start empowering them to believe in themselves and speak their truth. The world isn’t always fair but our present circumstances do not have to determine our future and learning to overcome obstacles in life can only build strong character. Give your kids their power back and stop solving their problems for them. Instead, give them the tools that they need to be successful in life.

• When they come to you to ask you if their picture/work is good don’t give them an answer. Instead, get down on their level and say, “What do YOU think about your picture?” Allow them to talk about their work and share their pride. This will teach them that their opinion matters and they don’t have to seek approval outside of themselves.

 

• When they feel disappointed or upset about something, don’t offer them the solution or try to make it better (and believe me I know this is hard). Instead, sit with them and allow them to feel their feelings without judgment, then ask them what they think they can do about the problem. Guide them to problem solve without giving them a direct solution. This will help them to feel empowered because they had a part in the solution. And as difficult as it is-because we all just want to make it better- it’s worth it in the long run because you are giving them tools for a lifetime. What is that old saying… “Give them a fish and they eat today but teach them to fish and they eat for an eternity!” (or something like that)

 

• Finally, practice the 7 Essentials (Ignite the Light: Empowering Children & Adults to be Their Absolute Best). Teach them to; 1) Love themselves, 2) Feel their feelings, 3) Quiet their minds, 4) Tune in to the energy and people around them, 5) Remove toxic thoughts, 6) Speak their truth and above all…7) Plug in to their higher self or a higher power.

I don’t want our kids to be anxious, helpless and angry. Instead, I would like to create a strong foundation for them so that they can grow up to have a healthy, productive, joyful life. Are you with me?

Lots of Love & Tons of Light,

Vicki

PS Please leave me your comments. I read them all and love hearing your thoughts!

www.vickisavini.com

Push the PAUSE Button

Mercury in retrograde, full moon, racing from one thing to the next…does it ever end?

Today I woke up a little later than usual and of course this put me behind the eight ball-so to speak- throughout the day. I felt like I was running from one thing to the next and as if life was a blur. Of course anything that could go wrong, went wrong, because isn’t that just how it goes?

I went into my classroom and tried to get ready for my 1st graders to come through the doors. I always like to make sure that when they walk through the door, they see a smile and not a rushing, crazy idiot!  Today, that was a challenge though.

I tried to print morning work and there was an issue with the printer. Next I tried to get online for a backup plan, but that didn’t work either. I rushed to find a solution and came up with something just in time, but the day was already spinning out of control.

After the kids came in and started on morning work I remembered that I had to do lovely progress monitoring. I pulled the iPod out of my drawer and had technical difficulties with that too. After wasting at least 30 minutes trying to get technology to work with me so that I could get the ‘data’ teachers are expected to report, I finally got things rolling, but it was clear that my energy needed a shift.

I progress monitored 6 students (tested them…oh I LOVE those tests) and then we were off to lunch. I was definitely on edge with the kids and that’s so NOT fair to them!

Every day after lunch and recess my kids have ‘Mindful Time’. This is a time that I dedicate solely to ‘quieting our minds’ (you can read about this in my book Ignite the Light)

Some days we lay our yoga mats on the ground and go to our ‘Happy Place,’ other days we do power yoga or color mandalas. I usually take this 10-15 minutes to breathe and release some tension or get ready for the next hour with the kids (ironically, I am not always mindful during mindful time). But today- TODAY was a day when Mindful Time really made the difference for me.

The kids came into the classroom and parked themselves on the community rug for instructions. I instructed them to use mandala’s to quiet their minds and then walked to my desk to ‘catch up’. Fortunately, I caught myself and decided that I too needed to practice mindfulness.

I announced to the kids that I was going to color a mandala today as well. I chose one, pulled out my crayons (that was really awesome-I love the smell of crayons) and began to color my mandala from the inside out. As I colored I shared some thoughts with the kids. They were so happy to have me join in as well and so intrigued by my coloring and choice of colors. I smiled to myself because of their excitement.

Time was up. I began to pack my crayons away and began counting down for the kids to do the same. When the kids came to the rug again for instructions something was different…I was different. My energy was now re-balanced and even though things were still ‘ticking’ me off throughout the afternoon with technology and testing, the edge was now gone!

This made me realize that we all need to push that pause button throughout the day. I literally sat and colored (yes, I colored with crayons) for about 10 minutes and suddenly life didn’t seem so tough after all.

Mindfulness doesn’t have to happen at the same time every day and it doesn’t have to happen in a certain way. Mindfulness just needs to happen. And the only way for us to be mindful is to sometimes hit the PAUSE button.

Try it. 10-15 minutes (even 5 minutes) in the middle of your stressful day can totally make all the difference in the world. Go ahead, pull out a box of crayons-I dare you!

Lots of Love & Tons of Light,

Vicki

PS Come visit me on my page and sign up for my newsletter so we can stay connected. I LOVE to hear from you!  www.vickisavini.com